How to Communicate With an Uncommunicative Ex About Your Kids

ignoring (free clip art)
ignoring (free clip art)
Discussing your child with your ex is important for you both as parents. It’s very important that you keep an open line of communication and don’t withhold information from one another that relates to your child. After all, even if you’re not still together, co-parenting is better for your child.

Unfortunately, though, you may find yourself in a situation where your ex doesn’t want to communicate with you. This can be problematic, especially when it comes to your child. If you have an uncommunicative ex, here are a few things you can do to start communicating effectively.

Use a mediator.

mediator (free clip art)
mediator (free clip art)
It’s possible that your ex can’t put aside his or her feelings in order to communicate with you. If this is true, it may be in your best interest to hire a mediator to resolve your communication issues. In these instances, a mediator is a neutral third-party that can help you and your ex communicate your feelings and create solutions that best meet your specific needs.

Create a custody agreement.

divorce meme (free clip art)
divorce meme (free clip art)
If you do not currently have a custody agreement, you should consider creating one. A custody agreement determines the guidelines and regulations you and your ex must follow as it pertains to your child. For example, your agreement will specify which parent has custody of the child at which times, a holiday schedule, and even a way for you to communicate any information relating to your child. This is something you can set up on your own and file with the court, or you can use a mediator or divorce attorney.

Create a paper trail.

paper trail (free clip art)
paper trail (free clip art)
If your ex does not want to communicate with you, you can at least create a paper trail. For example, use text messages or emails as a way to communicate with your ex. If your child receives information from school or the doctor, create copies and give them to your ex. If your ex still does not communicate with you after these attempts, you can use your paper trail proof to propose an amendment to your custody agreement. National Family Solutions reviews these types of cases and can provide direction to the appropriate resources.

List both of you on important documents.

important documents (free clip art)
important documents (free clip art)
When it comes to your child, both parents need to be advised on his or her well-being. For example, if your child’s school uses email to communicate with parents, make sure that both you and your ex have signed up to receive the emails. This way, when it comes to school matters, you don’t have to be responsible for informing your ex about school events or your child’s grades.

Use a neutral third-party.

It may be possible that your ex doesn’t want to communicate specifically with you, but would have no problem talking to someone else. If this is the case, try using a neutral third-party to deliver messages between the two of you. You can opt to pay someone, such as a mediator, or you can use a neutral friend or family member. Just be sure you choose someone who is completely neutral and who, like you and your ex, have your child’s best interests in mind.